The first draft

Throwing the thin blanket that she sleeps with, she gets up from her bed, stretches a bit and walk few steps. Along with blanket, she throws dead thoughts, awry issues, stale feelings and procrastination. She washes face and brushes her teeth.She stands in the balcony for a moment and stares at the house, which is still in making .A few months back there was nothing but moulds of dust here ,however today a home is about to get ready. Window panes and door frames are fitted into the empty spaces in the wall. Act of building home, she thinks is similar to act of writing. Every inception begins form an idea. The idea is forged into a material thing. As home is build brick by brick, a piece is written word by word.

She also notices huge green cloth that is used to cover the house while it is still in making, from the dust and outside world. Yes when you are writing, you need to focus on what you feel and what you want to write. When millions are speaking and rest seem to speak the same, it’s very necessary to find one’s own voice.

In this age when everything is typed, she still wants to write her morning words with pen and run the pen over the diary .She wants hand to move.Nostalgia of writing in diary .Diary sounds so authentic-it’s not coated with so many adjectives or pretends to be a master piece .Its flawed, reminding that no human being is flawless-we are here to learn and grow. The words are truthful and honest. Putting words how you feel, is the courageous work.

First words are important, when she sits to just write leaving aside thoughts that tell her, she has college assignments to be finished, laundry to be done, hair to be oiled, has to get over with conflict  within and of course addressing the new blooming love, which seems to have arrived after a long and at a right time.  A writer throws almost everything out just to write, yes even if no one pays you for it. It’s a perpetual struggle, not to be distracted by these things. One can imagine the times when we could discuss only cows, religion, and patriotism .We see dialogue being reduced to mere empty rhetoric and theatrics. We know when capitalism gets in crises it takes the fascist route. The WTO agreements for selling education and ransacking the future of the country, the EPF taxation, the nationalism debate, farmers suicide, hate speeches, and all that is such a jarring sight to witness. It’s inevitable not to get affected by it.

However one should not give up hope and the writing. One day the dust form the bricks would settle down. The plastered walls and finished home would be ready and the world would see it, so shall the writing piece. The process is joy .Thoughts may be unclear now, the words are not positioned right and there is no structure in the sentences she writes. There is constant fear that runs while writing. The critic inside says, you won’t go too far. This is a naive piece, you better grow up.

The first draft is like a mediating exercise when everything happening around you, has to be kept aside for a while. You should not be affected by the temporariness of the words said by others. Read others, learn from others, but don’t run away with just that, efforts should always be made to find your voice.